Friday, December 20, 2024

Christmas 2024

 

“We’ve all had too much sorrow.

Now is the time for joy.”

--Nick Cave

Christmastime 2024

Dear friends and family,

 

One year ago Chrisy and I rang in the new year in Norway. It was the trip of a lifetime, certainly for me, who had never been to Europe! We celebrated 30 years of marriage last year and this trip was our gift to each other for three decades of keeping our vows to one another. Our trip went from the day after Christmas 2023 through January 9th of this year. It was glorious. The best thing about it was having all the downtime to connect and rekindle our romance and friendship. If only that blissful feeling of being on holiday could last all year round. It doesn’t, but that’s okay!

 

Earlier this year I was talking to my therapist about the elusive nature of joy. I spent a lot of time trying to dissect what true happiness is, what joy is, and pondering the difference. A friend of mine says much of our problem comes from defining “joy” wrongly. She sees it more as the ability to accept life on life’s terms. Amidst the many struggles this year, I found myself trying to live that out. Then, in August, Nick Cave’s new album, Wild God, was released. I quoted the track, Joy, from it above. In it, he wakes up with the blues, dealing with grief, begging for mercy. Then he is visited by a flaming boy, likely the ghost of his real-life dead son, who speaks the line quoted at the top of this letter. I find myself returning to these lyrics often.

 

As I started to write this letter, I was going to write about the many challenges that life threw at us this year. These included a couple of car accidents, a couple health scares, a few injuries, and many issues with our extended family. However, I figured I would embrace the positives.

 

All four of our kids are adults now. Zoey graduated from Cal State Fullerton with her bachelor’s degree in May. She is now in an intensive combined credential and master’s program. She just wrapped up her first semester of student teaching with rave reviews. She remains at home and is commuting to college. She has another year left in the program. She hopes to be teaching elementary school in 2026. Zoey enjoys spending time with her boyfriend, Kole. When she is not doing college coursework, she loves going to Disneyland.

 

Kasey is still attending UC Davis. As such, she spends most of her time up there. She is majoring in animal science. While working on her undergraduate degree, she discovered that she doesn’t want to attend veterinary school; however, she still plans to work with animals in some capacity. Even though she just graduated from high school in 2022, she plans on earning her bachelor’s degree in June. Kasey and her girlfriend, Mikayla, recently rescued a cat named Jack and they both share a passion for working with animals in any capacity. They are talking about moving to Oregon next summer. We couldn’t be happier for them. Kayla is pictured on our Christmas card.

 

Max got engaged this year! He proposed to Elena on June 29. They will be getting married in June! We are, of course, very excited. Chrisy and I had the chance to go visit them in Boston just last month! We had a couple dinners with Elena’s parents and enjoyed meeting them for the first time. Max is still working hard at Boston Medical Center as a PA, going on 3+ years now. His and Elena’s jobs are very flexible which lets them travel a lot, including to Japan and Italy this year. This past June Max and Elena visited us and the highlight was spending the day in Newport Harbor with them. We really love Elena and can’t wait for her to be officially family.

 

Wes and Makenna celebrated their second wedding anniversary last month. It is hard to believe that it’s already been two years. They both work overnight shifts, but they are doing well. We are thankful that they live close by. They are saving to buy a house, hopefully in Orange County, but things are very expensive here. Wes has a very generous heart and often comes over to do things we need help with. He’s saved us a lot this year with hard labor. Wes and Makenna both also have flexible work schedules and love to travel. They were able to make the Italy trip with Max and Elena this past summer. We’re happy they are getting it in while they are young.

 

Next month will mark 20 years since I became the junior high ministry director at the church body I am a member of. When I took over in January, 2005, I would not have imagined that, two decades later, I would still be serving in that roll. I still love doing it because of the students. I am not delusional enough to think that nobody else could take on this role in this community, but I do believe that I bring a perspective that truly is in line with what Jesus of Nazareth modeled for us. I still remain passionate about modeling grace, love, and acceptance to middle-school-aged students. Plus, the students bring me joy. My main job, teaching in SAUSD still feels very missional too. I’ve been there 25 years now.

 

Over spring break, this past April, Chrisy and I spent an entire week alone together in Sedona and loved it. We did a lot of slow hiking. Chrisy even feel into a creek, but laughed while doing it. She is actually doing okay, healthwise, at the moment. Her multiple sclerosis has been pretty stable. She keeps the home fires burning while everyone else is busy. She does a lot of reading too, 165 books so far this year! On our visit to Boston last month, after saying goodbye to Max, we extended the time and went to Acadia National Park in Maine with our friends the Cloyds. Time with them was long overdue. At Max’s suggestion, the four of us went up to Cadillac Mountain to watch the sunrise. From October to March, its peak is the first place in the United States for the sun to touch. Watching the flare born from the ocean brought me to tears.

 

Overall, this year has found us spending more and more couple time together. It’s brought us to the beautiful realization that we still totally love each other.

 

Lately, I’ve spent a lot of time walking our girls’ dogs, Mocha & Harley. Often I am doing it very early in the morning and the stars are still out. I’m trying to work on being present more, so I look up to the heavens, and then back down at the dogs and it feels like joy. I will close out this letter with a lyric from a song I mentioned earlier: “They shout angry words all across the world, they shout their angry words about the end of love; yet, the stars stand above the earth: bright, triumphant metaphors of love!”

 

Chrisy and I wish you a very merry Christmas and a joy-filled year ahead.

 

Much love,

Doah & Chrisy


1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a year filled with faith, family & joy!! Merry Christmas to you both! Deb Ingles

1:45 AM  

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