BROKEN - Blogtober 2020

Broken

 I despise the things I do though it's me

Is it my woundedness or just anger?

Vow and break, vow and break, how can it be?

I hurt you with my words like a dagger

Mom used to show me how to retreat and sulk

Did I get that from her when I go hide?

Dad modeled to be scary like the Hulk

Did I inherit his negative traits?

I have taken steps to be different though

Talk to counselors and worked all the steps

Yet real change and maturity seems slow

True recovery it seems is complex

     Thought I was healed, but I had misspoken

     I cannot be mended: I stand broken

--Shenandoah Lynd

BURN - Blogtober 2020

Burn

It is not so much I had to have you

To desire means so much more than need

But one conversation and I just knew

My commitment to you is guaranteed

To build from a friendship to something more

Not just a school boy crush or mad desire

It is something I've never felt before

Make any sacrifice you require

Forsaking all others an easy task

It all comes so easy my one true love

A lifetime of service if you will ask

For our rhythms of grace fit like a glove

     Like a meteoroid falling to earth

     I burn for you like a stellar rebirth

--Shenandoah Lynd

JUMP - Blogtober 2020

Jump

One by one each man dove off the high cliff

Not one of them seemed disturbed by the height

They all seemed so relaxed, I was just stiff

As for me, looking down caused me great fright

What is the origin of a man's deep fear?

Was it something as a child my dad said?

What makes me want to hide and disappear?

"You're a sissy!" still echos in my head.

I approach the rock face and cannot go

I take a moment and get back in line

I reapproach and do not look below

Wild abandon: I take a plunge divine!

     Looking back, I know the jump helped me grow

     I know only cool water waits below

--Shenandoah Lynd

CHASE - Blogtober 2020

Chase

I loved the chase, actively pursuing

I remember the first glimpse, swept away

Interested, aflutter and wooing

Not playing games, everything on display

Testing the waters, fearing rejection

Even a glance would bring me to my knees

Powered by an electric connection

Hoping for a yes, but no guarantees

Magnificent beauty, could you be mine? 

Showing my whole self, hoping to impress

Fueled from within by a love divine

Then came the question: My God, you said, "Yes!"

     I used to run after on the playground...

     Searched and searched, and baby, look what I've found!

--Shenandoah Lynd

DESERT - Blogtober 2020

Desert

We roamed the beige chizzled rocks as children

The attraction, Lawrence said, is "It's clean."

Our castle's walls were mountains we climbed on

It's unlittered landscapes we would careen

We road our dirt bikes upon rough terrain

Night sky with stars as far as eyes could see

Gathered around bonfires with hearts ablaze

Never in a place have I felt more free

Our desert playground could not be sustained

Marriage held in a vessel so fragile

Marred by divorce it could not be contained

Adult's choices children's lives unravel

I treasure memories of the wilderness

Love's tenuous bonds my bewilderment 

--Shenandoah Lynd

CANDLE - Blogtober 2020

Candle

Rich memory of you: room lit by flame

Covered in bubbles: you lay in the bath

Wet and hidden: my desire proclaimed

Up to the tub: rose pedals made a path

Vivaldi played: reminding us of spring

Your smile: as ignitable as a wick

To evocations of you: I must cling

Not knowing then: you were soon to be sick

In illness and health: as promised by vows

Disease ravaged your body: robbed us blind

Time is allotted: as heaven allows

I sit in this basin: a tomb confined

     Candle's light: shadows forever hallowed

     I will keep it lit: burn bright, sweet tallow

--Shenandoah Lynd

TOWER - Blogtober

Tower

It was a beacon of hope in my youth

I'd ride my bike across the whole city

Weary adolescent searching for truth

Knowing I'd ride home with something pretty

I remember tearing off the plastic

That alluring square cardboard masterpiece

Joshua Tree nothing so fantastic

Gifts from Bono and the boys never cease

Lyrics' power would hold the hounds at bay

"We learned more from a three-minute record

baby than we ever learned in school," yea!

Bruce offered salvation in just one chord

     Those black discs were shields protecting us from swords:

     the sanctuary of Tower Records!

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Shakespearean sonnet)

DAWN - Blogtober 2020

Dawn

Radiation fog hugs the ground at dawn

The earth is cool, the night air warm and dry

So early we're alone and we both yawn

Magical colors July Tucson sky

First appearance of light before sunrise

A spark of romance at the break of day

Nature can't compete, the blaze in your eyes

Illumination is God's great display

Fiery zeal sunrise of our affair

You and I, night and day, the perfect pair

Colored clouds paint the sky, but can't compare

Tender touch, vulnerability laid bare

     First light, not of day, but of our new love

     Your face aglow, the morning moon above

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Shakespearean sonnet)

FLIGHT - Blogtober 2020

Flight

My first time on an airplane that summer

Every fairy tale came to fruition

White wedding dress bright light beaming from her

First time in my life no inhibition

As we flew through the sky my past did die

Sweet anticipation of departure

In our sacred union all hope would lie

You were and remain my entire future

A blissful honeymoon on Grand Cayman

Ocean our refuge from noon's humid rain

Prettiest in all of God's creation 

Sex in the sea passions could not restrain

     Lovers entwined skinny-dipping at night

    As I fell into you my heart took fight

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Shakespearean sonnet)

COLLIDE - Blogtober 2020

Collide

The pound of a hammer on a nail head

Clear physics: forceful coming together

A car accident from running a red

Mighty swing to the stone like a sledger

Mom and dad converged in a fiery crash

Wanted romance, but got another wreck

Liquor fed the anger, every vow smashed

Nature and fate always keep me in check

Existence and actions, effect from cause

Forgiveness turns things white like a chrisom

Karma: Nobody escapes nature's laws

Grace comes in and disrupts the whole system:

     incarnation - Heaven and earth collide;

     resurrection - nothing has truly died.

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Shakespearean sonnet)

MASK - Blogtober 2020

Mask

"How are you doing?" they ask in passing.

"You know me: I'm fine. Thank you for asking."

Yet, all around me, my world is crashing.

Demons all about me, reaching, grasping

Marriage looks so good to the outsiders

Your great kids - they have it all together

Stale love life full of cobwebs and spiders

My "leather" is made of weakest pleather

"But when you know that you've got a real friend"

All the others are easier to bear

Turns out Jackson Browne was right in the end

One who knows my soul's deep depths - Oh, so rare!

     Utter transparency: that is the task

     But, all day long we choose to wear the mask

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Shakespearean sonnet)

THUNDER - Blogtober 2020

THUNDER

Oh, to be young summer eighty-seven

Like Herrick fought a dying tomorrow

Pitched tent by the Great Salt Lake pure heaven

An electric storm lit-up the meadow

Like Thoreau lived deep and sucked the marrow

Cumulonimbus painted the night sky

Like Donne's Good Morrow alive my fellow

Lightning and clap we stared into God's eye

Torrent on the canvas nothing was dry

Road trip through the states all kinds of weather

Not a care in the world ever so high

I'll never forget that time together

     That August with you so full of wonder

     Years gone by... I still yearn for the thunder

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Spenserian sonnet)

CHURCH - Blogtober 2020

CHURCH

The ekklesia assembled in love

Born as a movement not institution

Holy Spirit descended like a dove

Help others not personal absolution

Transform the status quo not hunker down

Exists to impact those on the outside

Beautiful like a bride in wedding gown

Never intended for those on inside

You bastardized teachings of our founder

I yearn for His unforced rhythms of grace

Heavy yolk causes many to flounder

Likes of you would not recognize his face

It's not a building with a steeple

True meaning of "church" is rousing people

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Shakespearean sonnet)

MIRROR - Blogtober 2020

Mirror

The mirror tells lies: You're just like your dad."

Debauchery extreme narcissism

Addicted to pleasure escapism

Call me his name nothing makes me more mad

Cycle of ruin repeat and be damned

Evolution can't stop barbarism

Throw in a big dose of chauvinism

Pulled to the abyss by the anchor dragged

I sought the gurus with my well-laid plans

Read the holy books got down on my knees

Worked the program to escape the disease

Repeatedly of you I washed my hands

     The reflection doesn't lie you see him

     I just can't shake this ancestral sin

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Wyatt sonnet)

NECKLACE - Blogtober 2020

Necklace

As proof of your vow I wore your necklace

Teens promising eternity reckless

What started as friendship grew to much more

You held all my secrets trust and adore

More than intimate you knew all my dreams

Friends make the perfect lovers so it seems

I remember the night of our first kiss

The future was written: us joyful bliss

You lied and gave your love to another

Far from impress all I did was smother

Devotion and loyalty came up short

Cool guys and rebels you choose to cavort

Our love forever wrapped up in a chain

Now that piece of jewelry represents pain

--Shenandoah Lynd

GIFT - Blogtober 2020

Gift

My favorite treat of all was your presence

Of all the men I knew you were the best

Every trip all our laughter counted blessed

Power of your stories luminescence

True lover man romance's quintessence

No regrets as all our love we expressed

I will stay true to your glorious quest

Guardian angel like Bailey's Clarence

I'm tempted to ask, "Why is life so hard?"

The guru says, "A man doesn't ask that."

In the face of hardship we must persist

Life is a battle can't get out unscarred

Complaining and whining one must combat

To struggle and toil all of life a gift

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Petrarchan sonnet)

FLOWER - Blogtober 2020

Flower

Mortality's harsh truth cuts like a knife

Gertie's geraniums were wilted dead

E.T. just hummed and they bloomed back to life

The loss of a friend is all in your head

Hope is restored as the petals have spread

Elliot's hope died the flowers perished

Death's finality has surely mislead

The truth of decay is not so hellish

Dance of birth and death a flawless marriage

Possibilities lay in a small bud

To suffer loss is the love we cherish

Being human is to have lost and loved

The blossom's rebirth is ressurection

Nature's cycle of life is perfection

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Spenserian sonnet)

TIME - Blogtober 2020

Time

Time is a gift we can never get back

Standing at your casket faced with the fact

Everyone's crying we're all dressed in black

A light has been snuffed my heart has been cracked

Music is muted without your presence

Joined at the hip forever in kinship

Uncle you got me through adolescence

Death cannot erase our companionship

You live inside me like a valiant knight

Every minute on stage deeply treasured

In your honor I continue to write

The hourglass drips like my memory measured

Hours or eons like a sailboat adrift

All the days I had with you were a gift

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Shakespearean sonnet)

VISION - Blogtober 2020

Vision

The prophet said God's plans are for my good

You led our family to be revered

Good little family we volunteered

Firmly on the righteous path we all stood

Followed all precepts like I knew I should

At your masterminding God's wrath we feared

Just a facade things not what they appeared

A savior's teaching you misunderstood

My faith did shatter when the scandal broke

Selfishness would tear families apart

Church torn asunder left a broken heart

Your action made your religion a joke:

     Battered and hopeless I now lack vision;

     stand condemned guilt ridden unforgiven

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Wyatt sonnet)

DANCE - Blogtober 2020

Dance

Your whole existence was full of tension

Even your birth a fight for life and death

Frail purple body struggling for breath

Nothing could cure no show of affection

Couldn't live up to your own perfection

Darkness of your ocean eternal depth

My adoration immeasurable breadth

You lost the battle against depression

The ups and downs felt like Russian roulette

Ballet offered you your only solace

The grace of your movement like a goddess

Life was reflected in your pirouette

Loving another is to take a chance

In the end my child it was worth the dance

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Wyatt sonnet)

CRIME - Blogtober 2020

Crime

Banker embezzled our retirement

Pilfer office supplies nobody knows

Rob 'em blind face covered with pantyhose

A parking lot hit-and-run left a dent

Vandalization by a malcontent

Exorbitant taxes then they foreclose

Bury the body watch it decompose

An act of passion death by argument

Sacred summer we made a solemn vow

Caught you with him and my soul ripped apart

Battered victim larceny of the heart

The shock to find I was only part-time

I want to love again, but don't know how

Nothing hurts worse than an evil love crime

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Petrarchan sonnet)

PROUD - Blogtober 2020

Proud

I come from a long line of ghastly men

Grams wasn't any better drunk all day

Love 'em, leave 'em repeat cycle again

Pops killed a man, "had it coming," they'd say

She smoked her Lucky Strikes downed her whisky

So illmannered his nickname was ogre

Dad slapped mom around when feelin' frisky

It was funny unless you were sober

We are not what happened to us I found

Crucify my old soul and break the chain

To ancestral sin no longer bound

My righteousness to genes cannot be bound 

We broke the cycle standing tall and proud

Sobriety and love for life I vowed

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Shakespearean sonnet)

MAGIC - Blogtober 2020

Magic

I am baffled I missed the slight of hand

We applaud magnificent illusion

Out of thin air appears at your command

Sawed her in half aghast in confusion

Turns one flower into rich profusion

Enchanter magus act is perfection

Eating from your hand bows in conclusion

Awe and wonder living misdirection

Breath miraculous upon inspection

The Great Magician's workmanship resounds

Astounding oeuvre in all directions

Order disorder reorder abound

Death resurrection nothing is tragic

All of nature all of life is magic

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Spenserian sonnet)

LIGHT - Blogtober 2020

Light

My burden is heavy nothing is light

Unable to carry I ache alone

Pulled down to the abyss with a huge stone

Aimless and lost like a ladyless knight

Romance's vacancy left me a blight

I long for daylight and delight once known

Yet each step is a chore disaster prone

Upon meeting you all passion ignites

Sun on my face illuminates all things

Excitement arousal faith all swirled

Soaring above lonely heart has sprung wings

Searched and I finally found my dream girl

Hope has pushed through fountain eternal springs

Your countenance brings light to the whole world

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Petrarchan sonnet)

RESCUE - Blogtober 2020

Rescue

Allah rescue me the dark night descends

Melancholy tears my black soul to shreds

Pain anguish sorrow misery transcends

The lugubrious world fills me with dread

Low-spirited my energy is zapped

My thoughts turn fatal my head in a fog

Laying in bed like a prisoner trapped

Caught bit in the ass by the big black dog

Hope for remedy in a little pill

I'd give anything for absolution

Overtaken beat down against my will

I turned to the arts for a solution

The masses gather Springsteen counts to three

Live music would finally set me free

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Shakespearean sonnet)

DISASTER - Blogtober 2020

Disaster

Youthful bodies we made our wedding vows

Summertime romance turned to way of life

Lovemaking more than heaven would allow

Unlike my parents a stranger to strife

Lust in abundance and ardor run rife

Wet glistening bride river in Cognac

Deepest yearnings all fulfilled in my wife 

Memory I'd trade it all to go back

The diagnosis stopped me in my tracks

Your mind is gone where's the woman I knew

Disease ravaged you happiness hijacked

Every action each attempt misconstrued

Angry scar fist-sized hole in the plaster

Write what you know and I know disaster

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Spenserian sonnet)

JOKE - Blogtober 2020

Joke

"Fie, maggots!" you'd say to us with disdain

Cut from a long line of maladaptives

Family humor was radioactive

Your words still soil my soul like a bloodstain

Passive aggressive just yanking my chain 

Unsubtle vindictiveness most active

A fine art to us but unattractive

Wounded man compassion you could not feign

Solace would come my true love rescued me

Years of prodding sincerity would heal

A perfect fit like a fine suit bespoke

Not passing off insults something funny

At the feet of abuse no longer kneel

Overcame can finally take a joke

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Petrarchan sonnet)

DESOLATE - Blogtober 2020

Desolate

Laughter filled room big family table

Mom dad children American dream

Tuck me in each night read Aesops fables

Run through the yard dog's golden fur agleam

The promise of community runs deep

Religious vows sweet family at church 

Pray with me now I lay me down to sleep

Illusions of perfection I still search

All these halls are empty now where ghosts roam

Bleak dismal untenanted hollow heart

Deserted house not home dark catacomb

Daddy's hidden life ripped our dreams apart

I went back to reconcile reminisce

Desolate like my core old dreams remiss

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Shakespearean sonnet)

WINDMILL - Blogtober 2020

Windmill

Hallowed fall long ago you lay naked

Shaded by the tower lovers entwined

Eternal dormant passions awakened

Rhythm of your heart and the blades they timed

Memories of your body my mind enshrined

Your wind blown hair across exquisite face

That autumn's romance occupies my mind

Yearning for your touch I think of that place

The scandal to follow affair debased

Rendezvous with him at our sacred site

Graffiti on the turbine vows defaced

Perfidy turns the blades and I'm contrite

Legend says spirits haunt that old windmill

Dark betrayal the ghost my bitter pill

--Shenandoah Lynd

(a Spenserian sonnet)

VAULT - Blogtober 2020

VAULT

As a young boy I roamed jolly carefree

Wearing my heart on my sleeve feeling open

Emoting vulnerable raw emotion 

My life it seemed nothing but jubilee

A dark mentor that I could not foresee

Hope for a good role model lay broken

Wanting "I love you" words left unspoken

Emotional shrapnel heart's debris

Two men pulled at me like a tug-a-war

Uncle Johnny fighting for righteous light

Father pushing toward darkness all his might

Risk and expose your heart to love exalt

One's advice I'd cherish one I'd abhor

You modeled to keep your heart in a vault

--Shenandoah Lynd 

(a Petrarchan sonnet)

SNAKE - Blogtober 2020

SNAKE

Scour the earth for my least favorite beast

Venomous slithering ready to strike

False gospel of Appalachian priest

Duplicitous wee songbird deadly shrike

Creature in the garden weaving half truths

From Rockwell to my hell all in one scene

Turned from citizen to exile uncouth

Cast me to the lonely non-ecumene

We recoil at sight of serpent most foul 

An expert at spinning yarn you traitor

Not venom but lies that infect my bowel

Family home in your wake a crater

Every vow broken all you speak is fake

My father by blood otherwise a snake

 --Shenandoah Lynd 

(a Shakespearean sonnet)