Sunday, June 03, 2007

Take My Heart

This morning I was sitting in church and two bits of lyrics from two different songs really jumped out at me:

This one was from the Delirious song "Rain Down":

"Keep my heart upon your alter
Give me strength to cross this water"

This one was from the Joe Engle song "You Are The Holy One":

"I want to die so you can live
Resurrect my heart again"

It's so hard to put a God-moment into print, but I heard God telling me, "Doah, I want your heart."

One of my favorite passages of scripture is found in 1 Samuel 16 wherein Samuel goes to Jesse's house to anoint one of his sons as king. Jesse parades out all his sons except the smallest, youngest one: David, God's choice. In verse 7 God tells Samuel not to judge by appearance because the Lord looks at a man's heart, not outward appearance like humans do.

I've always loved that verse and I've often thought about would the world would be like if we did judge the same way as God. Instead of saying, "Hey, Bill you look great! Have you dropped a bunch of weight?" We might look at somebody with the best abs of all, a perfect specimen, and say something, "Wow, dude, you're really hurting, selfish, self-centered, and ugly. I'm sorry."

The point is that God is very interested in my heart. I love the first lyric I shared because it says "keep" which assumes that it was up there on the alter already. The heart is in danger of coming off the alter. Yep, I put my heart on God's alter a lot and then I take it off. I'll be fully surrendered one moment and then consumed with self the next. Likewise, the second lyric I shared has the word "again" because my heart has been made alive through Christ over and over again; yet, many times, by choice, I let the joy die. I kill my own heart with my choices. I let my heart die when lose focus and choose complaining over gratittude, when I lash out in anger because I'm being narcissistic.

So, I had all this learning and this great dialogue with God before our pastor even gave the message today. And, when he finally did speak, his message only had one point:

"Remember, this isn't about you."

We had a chance to journal during church today and I wrote: "Abba, what I know for sure is that you really want my heart. I frequently take my heart off your alter and try to take matters into my own hands. I want to put my life into your hands."

Colossians 3:15 says "Let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts" and that's what I want for myself. I want Christ to rule in my heart.

This isn't about me! When my pastor was talking, the "this" was church. Yep, church isn't about me. But guess what else? Whatever "this" happens to be, parenting, my marriage, work, life, all of it . . . This isn't about me.

God, please take my heart!

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Blogger Sharon Genton said...

Great doing life with you....we are all still in Jesus school! Thanks for letting us hear your struggles!

5:00 PM  
Anonymous Peggy Gibbons said...

I think it was no coincidence that "I found your face" on a Bruce Springsteen site. I hope you don't mind if I add you to my favorites so I can read all you've written. I'd like for you to read about the dream I had about Hell. I'm a baby in this walk of Christianity but He's talking to me SO MUCH!!

10:27 AM  

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