Christmas 2025

Mikayla, Kasey, Doah, Chrisy, Elena, Max, Zoey, Wes, Makenna

Christmastime, 2025

 

Dear friends and family,

 

This past year was one of great change, but also normalcy. Like so many things, it just depends upon the lens one views it through.

 

Great change came in the form of another one of our children getting married. Our firstborn, Max, married Elena Meyer on Saturday, June 21^st! They were married at River Stone Manor in Schenectady, New York. The venue, as its name conjures, was spectacular and lovely; however, even the majestic Mohawk River, which flowed through the property, paled in comparison to Elena’s beauty. As evidenced by the photo on our Christmas card, our entire family was there, and it was a blast! We continue to be blessed in the daughter-in-law department! They are still living in Boston.

 

More positive change came on the education front with both of our daughters finishing up college! In June, Kasey, our youngest, earned her Bachelor of Science with a major in animal science, closing out her time at UC Davis. Especially impressive was her ability to obtain this degree in just three years! After graduation, she spent three months at home and then, in October, she and her girlfriend, Mikayla, moved to Salem, Oregon! That makes it two out-of-state kids for us now! Kasey is now working for the Salem Humane Society. We adore Mikayla and could not be prouder of Kasey!

 

Zoey just graduated from an intensive 16-month combined credential and graduate program. She earned her Master of Science in Curriculum and Instruction as well has her Multiple Subject Teaching Credential! She has already passed the dreaded California Teaching Performance Assessment (CalTPA), finished up all her student teaching, and is looking for a full-time teaching job! It has been an absolute pleasure watching Zoey flourish and making healthy life choices. For now, Zoey is our last kid at home. She’s still taking good care of her dog, Harley, whom we think is a bit sad about her friend, Mocha, moving to Oregon.

 

Wes and Makenna are still living close by here in Orange County, so we get to see them more often than we do the Bostonians or Oregonians! They are both working hard. Wes is always willing to help us out and save me from potential injury. He recently came over and did some work on our roof and then the four of us went out to dinner together. We always cherish our time with them. Our “boys” and their partners had some fun trips this year, but those stories are not ours to tell. I find myself wondering how long I should even try to keep reporting on our adult children.

 

As for Chrisy and I, that is where there is a bit of status quo. However, Chrisy did have another big health scare. At the end of January she went in for total knee replacement and she had a stroke while under anesthesia! As you could imagine, this led to months of uncertainty. She has had to fight to get her functions back. Thankfully, for the most part, she has. I continue to work as a teacher in the HEART class at REACH Academy in Santa Ana Unified School District. I also just celebrated my 20^th year as the junior high pastor at TerraNova Church!  Other than traveling to Albany for the wedding, we didn’t do much this year. In August we did get a chance to visit our daughter-in-love, Holly, and her husband, Jonathan, in Las Vegas. Seeing their kids, Caden and Emerson, brought us so much life. They refer to us and Grandpa Doah and Grandma Chrisy, and we feel so honored by that.

 

That’s about it for us. We hope your holiday season brings you a lot of joy.

 

Love,

Doah & Chrisy

Christmas 2024

 

“We’ve all had too much sorrow.

Now is the time for joy.”

--Nick Cave

Christmastime 2024

Dear friends and family,

 

One year ago Chrisy and I rang in the new year in Norway. It was the trip of a lifetime, certainly for me, who had never been to Europe! We celebrated 30 years of marriage last year and this trip was our gift to each other for three decades of keeping our vows to one another. Our trip went from the day after Christmas 2023 through January 9^th of this year. It was glorious. The best thing about it was having all the downtime to connect and rekindle our romance and friendship. If only that blissful feeling of being on holiday could last all year round. It doesn’t, but that’s okay!

 

Earlier this year I was talking to my therapist about the elusive nature of joy. I spent a lot of time trying to dissect what true happiness is, what joy is, and pondering the difference. A friend of mine says much of our problem comes from defining “joy” wrongly. She sees it more as the ability to accept life on life’s terms. Amidst the many struggles this year, I found myself trying to live that out. Then, in August, Nick Cave’s new album, Wild God, was released. I quoted the track, Joy, from it above. In it, he wakes up with the blues, dealing with grief, begging for mercy. Then he is visited by a flaming boy, likely the ghost of his real-life dead son, who speaks the line quoted at the top of this letter. I find myself returning to these lyrics often.

 

As I started to write this letter, I was going to write about the many challenges that life threw at us this year. These included a couple of car accidents, a couple health scares, a few injuries, and many issues with our extended family. However, I figured I would embrace the positives.

 

All four of our kids are adults now. Zoey graduated from Cal State Fullerton with her bachelor’s degree in May. She is now in an intensive combined credential and master’s program. She just wrapped up her first semester of student teaching with rave reviews. She remains at home and is commuting to college. She has another year left in the program. She hopes to be teaching elementary school in 2026. Zoey enjoys spending time with her boyfriend, Kole. When she is not doing college coursework, she loves going to Disneyland.

 

Kasey is still attending UC Davis. As such, she spends most of her time up there. She is majoring in animal science. While working on her undergraduate degree, she discovered that she doesn’t want to attend veterinary school; however, she still plans to work with animals in some capacity. Even though she just graduated from high school in 2022, she plans on earning her bachelor’s degree in June. Kasey and her girlfriend, Mikayla, recently rescued a cat named Jack and they both share a passion for working with animals in any capacity. They are talking about moving to Oregon next summer. We couldn’t be happier for them. Kayla is pictured on our Christmas card.

 

Max got engaged this year! He proposed to Elena on April 26th. They will be getting married in June! We are, of course, very excited. Chrisy and I had the chance to go visit them in Boston just last month! We had a couple dinners with Elena’s parents and enjoyed meeting them for the first time. Max is still working hard at Boston Medical Center as a PA, going on 3+ years now. His and Elena’s jobs are very flexible which lets them travel a lot, including to Japan and Italy this year. This past June Max and Elena visited us and the highlight was spending the day in Newport Harbor with them. We really love Elena and can’t wait for her to be officially family.

 

Wes and Makenna celebrated their second wedding anniversary last month. It is hard to believe that it’s already been two years. They both work overnight shifts, but they are doing well. We are thankful that they live close by. They are saving to buy a house, hopefully in Orange County, but things are very expensive here. Wes has a very generous heart and often comes over to do things we need help with. He’s saved us a lot this year with hard labor. Wes and Makenna both also have flexible work schedules and love to travel. They were able to make the Italy trip with Max and Elena this past summer. We’re happy they are getting it in while they are young.

 

Next month will mark 20 years since I became the junior high ministry director at the church body I am a member of. When I took over in January, 2005, I would not have imagined that, two decades later, I would still be serving in that roll. I still love doing it because of the students. I am not delusional enough to think that nobody else could take on this role in this community, but I do believe that I bring a perspective that truly is in line with what Jesus of Nazareth modeled for us. I still remain passionate about modeling grace, love, and acceptance to middle-school-aged students. Plus, the students bring me joy. My main job, teaching in SAUSD still feels very missional too. I’ve been there 25 years now.

 

Over spring break, this past April, Chrisy and I spent an entire week alone together in Sedona and loved it. We did a lot of slow hiking. Chrisy even feel into a creek, but laughed while doing it. She is actually doing okay, healthwise, at the moment. Her multiple sclerosis has been pretty stable. She keeps the home fires burning while everyone else is busy. She does a lot of reading too, 165 books so far this year! On our visit to Boston last month, after saying goodbye to Max, we extended the time and went to Acadia National Park in Maine with our friends the Cloyds. Time with them was long overdue. At Max’s suggestion, the four of us went up to Cadillac Mountain to watch the sunrise. From October to March, its peak is the first place in the United States for the sun to touch. Watching the flare born from the ocean brought me to tears.

 

Overall, this year has found us spending more and more couple time together. It’s brought us to the beautiful realization that we still totally love each other.

 

Lately, I’ve spent a lot of time walking our girls’ dogs, Mocha & Harley. Often I am doing it very early in the morning and the stars are still out. I’m trying to work on being present more, so I look up to the heavens, and then back down at the dogs and it feels like joy. I will close out this letter with a lyric from a song I mentioned earlier: “They shout angry words all across the world, they shout their angry words about the end of love; yet, the stars stand above the earth: bright, triumphant metaphors of love!”

 

Chrisy and I wish you a very merry Christmas and a joy-filled year ahead.

 

Much love,

Doah & Chrisy

Christmas Card 2023

 

“The dead are here, they never go away, so I never ask them to.”

--Hiss Golden Messenger (Mahogany Dread)

 

Christmastime 2023

 

Dear family and friends,

 

As 2023 comes to a close, we find ourselves being so proud of our adult children. Zoey, now 21, is living at home, carrying a full-time college load, and working as a waitress at Lazy Dog Restaurant. She will be graduating with her bachelor’s degree in psychology this coming May! Given she graduated from high school in 2020, this puts her at exactly four years for her undergraduate degree, no small feat! She has also worked very hard at becoming a waitress, paying dues as host, foodrunner, and in take-out! Zoey has already applied to a master’s/teaching credential combined program and is pursuing becoming a teacher like her dad. She had a very successful internship in a preschool with children who have special-needs. Her love of children is very clear and passionate. She also takes care of her dog, Harley, and her sister’s dog, Mocha. Kasey really misses Mocha, but she’s up at UC Davis working on a bachelor’s degree in animal science. She is 19 now and is already a college junior. It is quite the rigorous workload with lots of things that terrify me, like calculus and chemistry courses. This past year she also worked at Ortega Animal Care Center when she was home on break. Up at Davis she is taking pet-sitting jobs here and there. Her love of animals is very apparent. We are very proud of how hard both our girls work. They are intrepid and have enduring dispositions.

 

Max and Wes are, of course, totally on their own. Max is living in Boston and working as a Physican Assistant at Boston Medical Center. He is still dating his girlfriend of over two years, Elena. To say that we love Elena a lot would be an understatement. She already feels like part of our family. Max and Elena made it to California a couple times this year and we treasure every visit. Wes and Makenna celebrated their one year wedding anniversary on November 12 and we are extremely grateful for their relationship. As I mentioned last year, we’ve known Makenna and her family a long time so it still seems a bit unreal—in the best way—that she is our daughter-in-law! Wes and Makenna are both working full-time, paying off student loans and saving up to buy a house. We can’t wait to see what the future holds for our sons!

 

Now that I got all the nice stuff out of the way, let’s get down to what you’d expect from me. I bet you’re wondering what the quote at the outset of this letter is all about, It comes from a 2017 album called Hallelujah Anyhow. It’s an album that really helped me ride out my “funk” that seemed to take hold in me, especially during the pandemic of 2020. With its themes of darkness and the “black dog” of depression, it worked like an elixir for me. What I love about it is its refusal to lose hope: Things might be dark, but hallelujah anyhow! Choosing joy and optimism just might be the ultimate rebellious act. So why the reference to the dead? Well, the truth is, as I sat down to write a 2023 in review, death was looming large in my thoughts. In order to cope, I had made a joke that this year could best be summed up with “January, Taylor Swift, December.” However, that was a lie. In April, Chrisy’s sister-in-law, Debbie died at age 50. Then, on Chrisy’s birthday in May, our dear family friend, Karimy, died. She was only 25 years old. On May 13, I had the great honor of speaking at her memorial service. I’m not going to lie to you, even though I am a Christ follower, and I know these words from 1 Thessalonians 4:13, “We do not grieve like people who have no hope,” and even though I read Jerry Sittser’s book, A Grace Disguised: how the soul grows through loss, the fact is: I was grieving. I don’t think I was stuck in grief like it was a quagmire, but I was thinking about loss pretty much all year long. I realized this gloominess’ staring point was probably 2018 when Karimy’s dad died. In 2019 Zoey’s 18-year-old friend, Rey, died. A month after that Chrisy’s Aunt Janett died. Two months later her husband, Jack, died. That same year my stepdad, Mark, died. In 2020 Zoey’s 17-year-old friend, Andre died. That same year I lost my Uncle John, and often find myself weeping when he pops up in movies and songs. In 2022 Zoey’s friend since first grade, Griffin, died as well as Coach Al, Kasey & Zoey’s cross country and track coach. That same year Chrisy’s Aunt Mary also left us. There are so just so many losses! I’m sure that, as you read this, no matter who you are, someone you lost comes to mind. Loving hurts. Hence, the quote at the top of the letter. In fact, in the same song he sings, “The misery of love is a funny thing, the more it hurts, the more you think you can stand a little pain.” It’s like what Joy Gresham says in the movie, Shadowlands: “We can’t have the happiness of yesterday without the pain of today. That’s the deal.”

 

As I processed loss this year, I honestly began to realize that I had not been just grieving for the dead. We can grieve other losses too. I have grieved friends who moved away. I have grieved changes in general. For example, I’m still working at SAUSD, but my HEART class has now been reduced to just one teacher. I realized I am grieving the loss of my teaching partners. I’m still involved in the JHM ministry at TerraNova, and it brings me endless joy. However, this past year, my friend, Oksana, after seven years as a ministry partner, moved to South Africa. Even when you’re happy for someone, you can still grieve the loss.

 

I think health issues can cause a form of grief too. Ever since Chrisy’s multiple sclerosis diagnosis in 2013, I think we have collectively mourned the changes in routines and had to adjust to a new normal. Then came her back surgery in 2021. This year, on August 31, Chrisy had a stroke! This gave us quite the scare. The good news is that she seems to have fully recovered. As a couple we’ve been reflecting upon how these health issues have impacted our relationships and activities, often giving us no choice but to back out of things at the last minute. In fact, just two weeks ago, I “threw my back out” (whatever that means) while cleaning our garage! As a result, I haven’t gotten in a run since November 28 and I’m mourning that too! The good news is that 2023 found us drawing very close to each other. We’re in a really good spot. In fact, we celebrated 30 years of marriage on July 24. Our gift to each other is a trip to Norway! We leave December 26 and return January 9. We’re excited to see the aurora borealis!

 

I guess more than anything this year, I’m just more aware than ever that our days are numbered and our relationships are so precious. Chrisy and I both hope this letter finds you hopeful and aware of your blessings.

 

Merry Christmas,

Doah  (for all of us)